Its been almost a week since I really posted anything. Which for me is unusual. Ive been struggling, things are messed up and raw around here. I'm searching for words to explain, but I'm not finding them. Dakota isn't living here anymore because, he can not follow the rules, my decision, because I have 4 others that are expected to follow those rules. The past 6 years, since the realization of what he did, has been a struggle. Against much advice warning not to, we kept him here , mainly because, despite all the advice, there was no real help or anywhere to send him. The balancing act that has had to take place to protect everyone, did not do a whole lot to heal anyone, but we did what we did until we couldn't do it anymore, and here we are. I feel like a loser mom and I don't know how to fix it. Wes says he supports me, with his words, but everything else about him says different. I know God can take care of this in a way that none of us could ever imagine, but frankly I don't know how to pray. I guess my prayer is for protection and healing for all of us, and I'm hanging on to Romans 8:26 -In the same way , the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
Love you guys
can't wait to run away to Kentucky for a few days this weekend
Sandi
1 comment:
You're an amazing Mom. Don't ever think anything different. I have huge respect for you.
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