So, I'd told Sandi I was writing, thinking of posting my stories for people to read on my own blog, but thought I'd start here. So..., this is an article I wrote a few years ago. Let me know what you think. The format is not what it is in the original (paragraphs, etc.) but when I tried to copy into the blog didn't accept it. I'm still learning I guess.
Mike
Food Pantry
by
Michael Rogers
Missing teeth swallowed his smile. One protruding tooth made the gaps all the more prominent.
Smoky gray bristles covered the square, bony jaw while matching gray eyes sunk deep in their sockets. The cap on his head was covered with filth. The long bony fingers were stained with grease which seemed to grow from his fingernails. His words matched the condition of his physique.
"My wife's father just died of cancer. Nothin' showed up for years and then the doctor's tellin' him he's got one month. He died a month later with his wife layin' next to him." Toothless continued, "His wife's takin' it hard. I told my wife she would. Been together thirty years, they had. They live with us now, well, his wife does. I promised her I'd never send her away. She's 'fraid we'll send her to a nursin' home."
"Ten,... eleven,... twelve" the voice beckoned monotonously from the speakers. We checked our numbers along with everyone else awaiting food, and returned to our conversation. The man across from me wore a faded black leather jacket with Tuskeegee Air scrawled on it. The dark eyes looked warily from a face covered in brown skin. He spoke hesitantly at first, his eyes wavering.
"I had a tumor removed from between my lungs eight months ago," he said. "Made a cut this long" he demonstrated with his hands.
"Nasty stuff!" Toothless grunted.
"Yeah, but it wasn't cancer" answered Tuskeegee. "Still hurts though.... Used to do cement work" Tuskeegee offered. "Traveled all over the country. Can't no more though."
"Bet you've got some stories" I said. His eyes lit up. His voice gained strength.
"I worked on bridges ninety feet up. Hated heights, but ya gotta do what ya can." I nodded as Tuskeegee continued. "Ninety feet above the river walkin' steel beams no wider'n me. We were strapped in a harness, but you could still get hurt. I watched a guy fall the whole ninety feet. His eyes was on them lady iron workers an' not on his job. He lost his balance, line holdin' the harness caught a sharp piece of steel and sliced it in two. Watched him fall ninety feet. Well, never took my eyes off my work again!"
"Thirteen,... fourteen,... fifteen." The volunteer at the pantry wearily read off the numbers. The three of us checked our numbers again, like maybe we'd read them wrong the first three times. The table behind me had gotten louder so we were forced to listen to it's conversation. Only two people sat at the table. They'd seated themselves at the center, across from each other. Chairs lay empty around them, as if they were surrounded by an invisible wall. Greasy, uncombed hair protruded from the edges of a badly stained NASCAR cap. When the young man turned around I saw deep set eyes in a bony frame. One top tooth, right in the center of his smile, was black. His smile was crooked, but he used it a lot. Each sentence that flowed from his lips was accompanied by a loud laugh, as if each statement was the funniest he'd ever heard. Well, if it wasn't the funniest, it was close to the foulest I'd heard in a long while.
My eyes shifted to the young man occupying the other side of the table. He looked up and my breath caught. I knew he didn't recognize me, but I knew him immediately. Facing me was the son of a good friend. I knew his story and his illness. I knew the struggles he faced as well as that of his dad and step-mom. The diagnosis of bi-polar, while helping them in some ways, hadn't offered any real and lasting solutions. My heart wept as I watched him. I stood up, walked around the table, and introduced myself. His face lit up in recognition. As we spoke I was struck by the fact that things were not getting better for him. Again, my heart broke. I wearily returned to my station at the adjacent table.
I closed my eyes this time, and just listened. All around me pulsed the heartbeat of pain, disillusionment, failure, and resignation. One table over a woman spoke of her life ending.
"Doctors say I don't have much longer to live." Her "skin and bone" appearance lent credibility to her statement. "I'm alive because God isn't finished with me. I still have something to offer. I want to make the days I have left mean something." The peace in her voice gave force to her words.
My ears shifted their attention to the soft-spoken Muslim man sharing about his god. I wondered what brought him to this Christian Church. I chuckled quietly to myself as I answered my unspoken question. Need. Need and hunger had brought us here. Our stories were not the same. Our lifestyles were likely very different. But, need and hunger had brought us both to this place.
"I've been caring for my wife for two years" I heard myself say. I looked up to see Tuskeegee's dark eyes on me. "She went into the hospital two years ago. Was there for nine days." I felt the eyes searching me. Why was I saying anything? I didn't know Toothless or Tuskeegee. I didn't even know their real names. Yet all around me people shared their stories with complete strangers. I continued on, feeling compelled. "The insurance company said it wasn't their responsibility. They hired a doctor to agree with them. We fought it, but we've pretty much lost everything in the process." I laughed softly. "I tell people I've lost my home, but I've gained my family." Murmurs of agreement traveled to me from the two men. It grew quiet at our table as we each lost ourselves in our own thoughts.
"Sixteen,... seventeen,... eighteen." I looked again at my number, just to make sure. Standing up, I said goodbye to the two men at my table and took my place in line. It was likely I'd never see them again. I gratefully accepted the food and toiletries my family so desperately needed. As I walked out of the food pantry a man handed me a ten pound bag of potatoes. Our eyes met as I blessed him and thanked him.
I hadn't wanted to be here. I never expected to be in this kind of need. And yet a joy began to bubble in my soul and laughter resounded in my heart as I realized what had just happened. I'd been accepted by the very people from whom I'd tried so hard to distance myself. The very thing people long for, I'd found in this place where pride couldn't exist. I didn't earn it, nor did I demand it. It wasn't given because of what I had or who I was, but rather because of what I didn't have. I found it in my need. I heard God speak softly to my heart, "There's a message here for those who are listening." Are you?